從昨天開始就一直想寫點什麽，可是寫了刪刪了寫，終究還是什麽都寫不出來。明明說要勤快一點，可是懶惰的毛病又犯了，上次寫blog居然還是安律師生日的時候呢。這倒好，你們兩個挨在一起互過生日甜甜蜜蜜吧。親親~親親~

前幾日tumblr上有人弄慶生活動，為andy做生日卡，收集大家的祝福。nico，我新交的日本朋友，問我有沒有去留言寫祝福。我說了no，因為不知道說什麽。對於andy，已是i love him more than i can say.

就是我之前反復說的，有些東西太沉重怎樣都說不出口，能說的終究只是陳詞濫調。

做了張圖片，把eminem的一首歌beautiful裏面最喜歡的一句歌詞拿來應景，此間種種的情感隱去，就這一句，代表了所有此時的我對彼地的你，最想說的話。

don't let them say you ain't beautiful,they can all get f**ked,just stay true to you.

親愛的小安君，英俊瀟灑顛倒眾生的安律師，28歲快樂哇~~

雖然說晚了一天，但我的祝福是沒有期限的，就像我對你的愛。

愿你安好，以馬內利。

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,SUPERMARIO！

I LOVE YOU,I MISS YOU,GOD BLESS YOU！

前兩年頭腦風暴，總是能想出各種各樣有趣的東西，現在卻連最基本的人物性格設定都拿捏不准了，布拉格的春天里，小加被我越寫越嬌，小伯越寫越渣。亂的各種番外完全卡住，寫得一點不流暢，也無法正確表述波和小乖的情感，要情節沒情節，要文采沒文采，要矛盾沒矛盾，要性格沒性格。我這點墨水都瞎了啊，撞牆，太鬱悶了。

也許是跟我對網球不如前三四年那麼上心有關吧。年紀大了，感覺就也跟著遲鈍了，而寫文這事需要的就是熱情啊，像我這樣懶散不上進不積極的，活該什麽都寫不出來。活該。

ps:今天po了個圖卻忘記打水印，晚上就被貼到討厭的貼吧里去，真是煩死了。最討厭微博和貼吧了，各種不問自取坐享其成偷竊他人勞動成果道德淪喪說話不經大腦無知無恥無教養的神經病。

柳叔退役的消息太突兀，以至於兔子剛跟我說這事的時候，我壓根就沒信，以為又是wb上有人在造謠，可是一查新聞，居然已經官方了，當時好個錯愕，再把這個消息告訴ane，她也是同樣的反應。沒病沒傷排名又不低狀態也還好，退什麽役啊！再打三五年都沒問題的呀，就是覺得單打吃力也可以去轉雙打嘛，幹嘛走得這麼堅決啊，爲什麽啊爲什麽！！嗚嗚嗚嗚柳叔你早說要退役，去年中網我就多看看你啊。嗚嗚嗚嗚去年只顧著跟小伯玩了，我對不起柳叔，對不起小西，對不起克國。

做一個克羅地亞的粉其實是件很不容易的事。網球近年衰落得厲害，小安退了，小西又一直沒狀態，後面那些打醬油的就更加不成氣候。少年組有個孩子打的還不錯可是長得像小野獸，也太對不起這個俊美的人種的DNA了。足球自蘇克博班之後也就沒什麽人能挑大樑，今年的歐洲杯勉強還有小帥哥克拉尼擦可以看看。水球打的不錯帥哥也多可是沒轉播啊，剩下就沒什麽像樣的運動了，連追都沒得可追。於是悲催的我一說自己是克羅地亞粉，都底氣不足，不是被人問克羅地亞是神馬，就是被笑話好低級，你說我容易麼，容易麼！

就是這樣的情況下，我還打算縫做一套克羅地亞的球迷服，歐洲杯時候穿著攢rp呢。我多忠心啊，我愛克國都快比愛自己國家都多了，所以，親愛的克國，你就收了我吧……

——————

我應該說一下，在我沒網看比賽的情況下，我家兩隻寶貝，小乖和小加居然都在iw一輪游了。真瞎目啊。本來想抽小乖一頓，但是一想，如果要懲罰他也同樣得懲罰小加，於是我又不捨得懲罰小加寶貝啊，就只好作罷，不管他們了。（小乖：娘，你就捨得懲罰我咩！我難道不是親生的咩！）

雙打都給我出點力！雖然對於單打球員，雙打只是玩票，但是我還是覺得雙打更有愛更好看，所以小乖你不准拖哥哥後腿哦，多給哥哥掙點分數啦。另外小獅子啊，我不管你不代表不關心你啊，你努力點好不好？

咦，我不是在說柳叔叔退役的事么，怎麼又跑題了……

之所以又跑回這裡話嘮是因為論壇華麗麗地掛掉了。我等了兩個多月都沒見它有復活的跡象，於是只好放棄了。那里有我去年一整年的賽事整理資料，圖片新聞，同人文，和自己做的一些圖。大多數東西都是有備份的，唯獨新聞沒有，如果論壇真的不能恢復，那我在各個角落旮旯辛苦搜挖的那些安律師的動向新聞和採訪可都化為烏有了……跪地……好崩潰……

去年一整年，我似乎就寫了一篇關於小伯小加的架空中短篇，寫文已經成了件辛苦的負擔，不是沒靈感，是懶，浮躁，就像我畫畫一樣，剛拿起筆蘸了顏料，就已經覺得無聊不想畫了，加之集中力和毅力出其地差，所以就偷懶至今，一事無成。

這樣還真是對不起我的寶貝們啊，更對不起已經離開的小安，所以，我要努力，我要堅持，我要勤奮，我要開工寫文！！fighting！！

以及，我變成繁體字了……還是習慣看這樣複雜的文字。嗯，不過文庫那邊就和之前保持一致，還是用簡體字好了。

話嘮是病啊，自說自話也是病啊，得治啊……

27

supermario，happy birthday！！

love you,miss you.

volim te...

小乖在iw首轮就被淘汰了，因为这个日子的缘故，我没有苛责于他，总是想着，活着已经不易，平安喜乐健康就好，别的也就不重要了。那种事情，兄弟俩向来不愿提及，真正的伤痛是不会被遗忘的，心中缺了那么一块，怎么都补不平填不满。因为有相似的童年阴影，所以我总觉得自己很能理解他们，我知道那是种怎样的感受，所以能不去碰，就不去碰吧。

小安退役后，我倒是平静了许多，成绩这种事，愈发的不在意了。命里有时终须有。无所谓的。

"Don't cry, we'll always have Bratislava"

By Gordan Gabrovec in Zagreb, 06 Mar 2011

As a German television reporter was still talking about the great five-set victory that Cristopher Kas and Philipp Petzschner pulled off in the doubles, the lights in Dom Sportova were turned off. An announcer in the arena started to speak.

He was racing through a series of sentences like he was in a big hurry. Now and then I would recognize that he mentioned Wimbledon, Davis Cup and Olympics. As he was talking, line judges, ballboys and ballgirls gathered on the court like they would do for a trophy presentation at the end of a tournament. Then the moment came. The announcer raised his voice saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, Marioooo Anciiiiic!"

He was there, waiting to step on the court in his Croatian Davis Cup team white jacket that he wore with so much passion and pride. He started to walk behind the girl who carried a Croatian flag. It was his last victory lane. He walked slowly, like he used to do when he was preparing to serve in a crucial point of the match. This time he neither had racket nor balls in his hands. People clapped and Mario waved.

This didn't last long, not more than a minute, but it seemed like a decade. Many memories about the man in front of me came to my mind.

There he was, in the same hall 12 years ago. He played his first match in Davis Cup. Portuguese Joao Cunha-Silva beat him, but I was charmed with the game of the 15-year-old boy. A few months later he would win his first ITF Futures title, beating Ivo Karlovic in the final. That day "Super Mario" was born, long before he would beat Roger Federer in the first round of Wimbledon in 2002.

I remembered how he dismantled Tim Henman two years later in the Wimbledon quarterfinals, which was probably his best match ever. I remembered that hot summer night in Athens when we waited until 3am to see Mario and Ivan Ljubicic winning a bronze medal at the Olympics.

There he was, standing in that same white jacket that Ljubicic and he wore on a path to Davis Cup glory in 2005. They achieved a lot together and who knows what else that could have been Mario’s if he was able to stay healthy.

He was always a warrior. In a small circle of people he was known as ‘the young samurai’. So many times we saw him being down-and-out in the match before he would somehow find a way to victory. He never was a quitter until the end when his body betrayed his desire to keep playing.

No one should be forced to leave something that he loves so much. And Mario, oh, how he loves to play tennis. He didn't get a chance to play in a Wimbledon final or beat Andy Roddick, the only man out of today's Top 10 on the ATP rankings that he never beat, not even in junior tournaments.

As pictures on the big screen were showing the greatest moments of his career, sorrow started to kick in. This was one of those moments when we should celebrate and feel sad, when we should cry and smile at the same time.

I stopped for a moment and looked once more at the man in front of me. There he was a 26-year-old tennis star who could no longer play tennis. But he’s a rare player in today’s world with a future career path already planned: he received his law degree a few years back after studying while home recovering from mononucleosis.

And then it came to me. This is not a time to cry. Why would we? We'll always have a Davis Cup victory over Slovak Republic in Bratislava to remember.

而且我又从未宣传过那论坛，blogbus这里又门可罗雀，没什么人来访问，都是从哪里知道我的论坛的呢。

只要不是刻意捣乱，我当然欢迎每一个去玩的朋友。我是不是尖酸刻薄讨人厌呢？无论现实还是网络，人际关系竟都这么差，望天，真该好好反省了。

最近强迫自己整理资料，每一站赛事跟下来，就有种和孩子们一起经历风雨的感觉。我爱这种感觉，虽然也懒得要命，不像当初那样多小的赛事都会每天贴赛程赛果，但也都还是有关注比赛情况和走势的。就是文品差了点，挖各种坑也不填，也懒得写文，自抽一个。

论坛头图该换了，换成啥样呢，愁……

Mario Ancic, suffering from a back injury, to announce his retirement at a press conference this week.

小安是我心中最完美的男孩子。

我没办法接受这样的事情，于是不接受，不说再见，我坚定的认为他还会回到网球这片场地来。

要怪就怪pim，他们有同样的命运轨迹，pim最终回来，我相信mario也做得到，所以我等他。

前年去北京看到小西的时候，便想着，mario是喜欢长发的，那么我要留起头发，以后定要顶着一头美丽的长发去见mario。现在，我仍是这样坚持着，mario，在见到你之前，我不会剪头发的。哪怕是需要到克罗地亚去见你，我也不会放弃。

无论发生什么，mario，我是如此坚定地认为，一切还未结束。